There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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