I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
