I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
