You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
