You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
