And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my being single is dangerous.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
