and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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