I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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