Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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