im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
