so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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