You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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