wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
