PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
