i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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