i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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