Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
