Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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