Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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