Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
