You made me cry and you don't even care
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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