Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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