haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
should my penis look like a turkey
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
