Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
