i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
