You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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