I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
