You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize