Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I puked a lego.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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