I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
