Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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