I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
