so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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