So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
