By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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