I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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