Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
