New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
