How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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