You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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