Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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