thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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