girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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