I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
