Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize