Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you never un-have a 4some
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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