in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Green mimosas i think yes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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