He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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