So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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