soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Every concussion has its silver lining
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
